Torry’s Top Ten
Top Ten ways to get prompt attention at the hospital emergency room
by Torry Stiles
10. “99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer! You take one down, pass it around. 98 bottles of beer…”
9. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll wait. I’ll be over in the corner wearing my black hooded robe and carrying this scythe.”
8. “Hiya folks! Looks like we’ll be waiting a while. Did any of you see that story on the news about all the germs in hospital waiting rooms?”
7. “I’ll wait but you’re gonna be awful upset over what I’ll do to your potted plants over here.”
6. “Can I help? I found a stethoscope and a thermometer.”
5. “I used to read the Rex Morgan, MD comic strip. I know what’s wrong.”
4. “I see the head!”
3. “…and this is my lawyer. I can afford him thanks to the last time a nurse made me wait too long.”
2. “Last time I felt this bad they had to evacuate the waiting room.”
1. “I’m paying cash and I’m a great tipper!”
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