Giving up for Lent
It’s that time of year: Lent. It’s four weeks prior to Easter. Christians like Jim get all committed about Saturday morning breakfasts. It was my one day to sleep in! The food is good but the lines are long and we always have a speaker (It’s disturbingly like going to church!). The rest of the year I get to watch cartoons.
This lasts all of February and March (sometimes into April). This year isn’t so bad. In the past Jim would “give up something”. He doesn’t smoke or drink and he’s too soft lose weight. So he’d give up chocolate and soda (which means I had to give them up too). Depriving a kid of chocolate is a sin and should be a crime.
But it isn’t all bad. I’m back in front of the TV by 9:30. Easter comes along and that means one glorious thing: JELLY BEANS! In fact it also means chocolate eggs and coloring eggs (I love coloring). Jim’s wife fixes a great meal (always a ham) and the family comes over. That’s when I get to pull tricks on Brother Charlie while Jim torments him with lame jokes (Example: “Old Italian chefs don’t die; they just “pasta” away!”). Sister Emily is nice but her son Alexander is too rough. He tries to pull my head off (you can do that with a dummy).
I wish we could go on Spring Break like normal people. I get tired of other kids coming back from Florida with a tan and a smile. They don’t have to rub it in! I get to stay home and watch TV and trick Jim into thinking I’m doing my house work.
Jim might retire in a few years. Then maybe we can spend January down south. We know lots of people who do that. Retiring must be fun. There is something called “buffets” which are really popular with old people. I’d like to try one.
Chester’s Chuckle: Back in the 1970s Professor Lawrence Peter wrote a book called
THE PETER PRINCIPLE.
Q: What did people say about the professor when he died?
A: They said he “petered out”!
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