Torry’s Top Ten: Top ten worst things to hear at the funeral
10. “Peek in the box and make sure we’re at the right one.”
9. “I didn’t know this was BYOB. I’ll send the boy to get some beers out of the truck.”
8. “We need to hurry up. They’ve rented the hearse out for Prom.”
7. “He wanted to look good so we rented him a tux.”
6. “We’re ready to drive to the cemetery. Who’s got jumper cables?”
5. “Instead of the usual services, let’s karaoke. Who wants to start?”
4. “Stick a pin in him to be sure. You know what a joker he can be.”
3. “We put his cellphone in with him. Check out this ringtone.”
2. “He promised to hold his breath until Phelps got that last gold medal. Phelps got his gold. Unfortunately it was the 4 X 100 relay.”
1. “… with officers in pursuit at speeds over 115 miles per hour…”
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