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I’ve been foiled by a beer commercial
I may be good enough to marry, but it appears I’m not to be trusted when it comes to registering for my wedding this summer.
And that’s not just coming from my fiancée; it’s everyone. I’ve been jokingly (and sometimes seriously) told that I’m not to add anything to the registry without Jess’ approval, and I feel pretty comfortable blaming that stupid Miller Lite commercial.
You know which one I’m referring to: the one in which a guy’s fiancée takes a quick break from scanning every other item in the store and hands him the scanner before he proceeds to add 30 cases of Miller Lite, which for some reason were stocked in the middle of a Bed Bath & Beyond. Now, whenever we bring up registering to friends and relatives, someone always chimes in, “You’d better not give Kevin the scanner or else you’ll end up with nothing but Miller Lite on your wedding day.”
Sure, it’s a joke, but I believe it’s had real consequences. I do get to hold the scanner while we’re strolling through the aisles, but I’m never left alone with it or able scan anything without prior approval. Would things be the same if we would have began registering weeks ago, before the commercial ever aired? Maybe. But now the details of that commercial are common knowledge, and any effect it’s had on current brides-to-be can’t be undone.
The plot of the ad is completely unrealistic. Still, I don’t doubt that many women watched that, considered their own significant others and thought “He would totally do that.”
Even though you’d have to register at Wal-Mart in order for the Miller Lite situation to even be possible, I think the basic principle of the commercial is being applied at every location. Women may know their guys can’t add beer at most stores, but the overall theme of the commercial is that, if given the opportunity to do so, men will register for anything they want, no matter how ridiculous those items may be.
I feel like I’m living in the movie “Minority Report,” with the Miller Lite commercial playing the role of those mind readers and busting me for a crime I’ve yet to commit. I’ve never been engaged before, nor have I had any type of gift registry, for that matter. Still, Jess thinks that I’ll be irresponsible with the scanner if given the chance. Now, where did she get that idea?
Unfortunately, the Miller Lite commercial did expose some motives of mine that had previously been private. No, I don’t want to register for enough cheap beer to hold a frat party, but I would like to include some purely-me items on the registry.
The registry is one of the few aspects of wedding planning in which I’m actually interested. Do I care about the flowers at the ceremony? No. And the table runners? I don’t even know what those are. I am, however, interested in our wedding wish list and hoped to make some stupid additions of my own, but that Miller Lite commercial came along and crushed those dreams.
I was able to covertly add a Slap Chop to the list the other day, but that’s about the extent of what I can do. That beer commercial foiled my plans before I ever set foot inside the store, and what was supposed to be little more than a funny commercial, I’m convinced, has negatively affected my life.
I just wish that ad had never aired. Maybe then, I’d have a little more freedom with the scanner, which would be nice. I may pass on the Miller Lite, but if I ever encountered a pyramid of Mountain Dew in Bed Bath & Beyond, I would need unsupervised use of the device. Of course, that will never happen now, in the post-commercial age of wedding registries.
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