Doesn’t everyone shop by feeling?

By Sherri Coner-Eastburn

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If I had a life before this one, I’m pretty darn sure I spent it as a bag lady.

The thought occurred to me yesterday while I was feeling my way through the fuzzy stuff at Goodwill.

I happen to be in love with used stuff. I treasure the opportunity to buy shoes at garage sales — shoes that are already broken in by other feet. I am delighted by my faded old overalls, even though the left knee is completely MIA and one strap continuously falls off my shoulder. And did I mention that those things are so enormous that I wore them quite comfortably throughout my pregnancy?

Sure, I’m an admitted cheapskate. I’m frugal. I’m tighter than the bark on a tree. And I’m very proud of that.

Anybody can spend money. And millions of people have proven they can get themselves elbow-deep in debt. They’re really good at chasing after the Joneses and being morons continuously diving into monetary mistakes.

It takes skill, however, to shop bargains and pinch a penny until it squeals.

Yesterday though, I wondered if maybe there’s more to my weirdness than just being crazy obsessed with clearance counters.

I decided I needed a “new” pair of pajamas — new for me being defined as a second pair, but this one without missing buttons.

It never occurred to me to purchase starchy, brand-new pajamas in a department store. I loathe that stiff fabric with no personality. Those big price tags make me dizzy, too.

So I ventured toward the designated pajama section at Goodwill. I slowly traveled from one choice to another, stroking, stretching and grabbing at the fabric.
“Too crunchy, too worn, too faded,” I whispered under my breath. “Too big, too small, too purple, no buttons, not enough elastic left in those pants, nope, too ugly.”

“What are you doing?” a young woman asked.

“Shopping for pajamas,” I said with a shrug.

“But you’re not actually looking at them,” she said.

“I shop by feeling,” I said.

“Feeling?” she asked with a grin.

“They’ve got to be soft but not worn out,” I said. “They’ve got to have buttons but still be comfortable.”

“You always wear used pajamas?” she asked.

“If I’m really lucky, I do,” I nodded.

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